there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
