I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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