She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
