Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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