Whod you bang
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
