"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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