Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
