Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
