I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
