So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
