tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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