Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize