I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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