I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
