What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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