Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
