its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize