Dual....:-)
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
