I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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