Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
