i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
