Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
