Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
