We named our party play list daddy issues
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
