you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you didnt know i had herpes?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
