bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize