With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
