So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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