Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
