babies were throwing up all over the place
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
