I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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