oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
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