she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
