I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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