you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
