I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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