The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
