Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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