Christians are straight up FREAKS
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
