either way he was missing a nipple.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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