you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
