drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
