How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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