ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize