my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
