Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
