the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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