there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
