it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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