i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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