my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
