You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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