Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You've changed since you got that strap on
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
