So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
