I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
