The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
