I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
