i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
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