I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize