I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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