dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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