And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize