let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
