you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
