I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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