She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
