Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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