Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
