My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
