You smell like stripper and shame
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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