FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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