i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
